These medications are messing with my head. Just read one of Justin's posts and it was quite something, and yet I can't remember any of it. I could barely comment because I couldn't really remember as I was going. It's the meds, my brain doesn't track as well. Sometimes its good and sometimes my head is all screwed up.
Anyways... I can barely think.
Below is a short by Steve Martin that was in the back of the New Yorker back when I was a freshman in high school. Dad loved it, Al loved it, I loved it. We all showed friends, teachers, co-workers.
==========================
Side Effects
By Steve Martin
DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna w*p you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a whole octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensation of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.
* From The New Yorker, April 13, 1998.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Roadster
Alright so my plan for the Yamaha has changed. I was as you know planning to Cafe the bike at some point in the future. I have decided instead to go with something more workable, a Roadster - which is what Dad's Norton and Ducati were, really its what my two Triumphs, my BMW, and Dad's Triumph were as well. A Roadster is sort of a cross between a Cafe, a Cruiser, and... well really its just a straight up standard go get 'em motorcycle.
So we all remember my bike, you can see it clearly here - in the back of my car. Its hard to tell just how ugly the tank is, but I can assure you that it is quite ugly. That rear bar on the seat is equally horrific, and oh my god is the seat ugly. The whole design is just bastardly.
Well I figured it out a few days ago, I realized that there was a small chance that a gas tank off an early 80s Kawasaki KZP550 might just fit - as they share high backbone frame design. SO I asked my friend Jack, who owns one, to come over and let me see if his tank fit.
It DOES!
You can see here that it sits parallel to the ground (the base of the tank) which is wonderful. Not only that but the mounting bolt lines up almost perfectly. I might have to pad the frame with fiberglass to help with vibration. But the tank is a match!
From this angle (more steady) you can see what the Norton bench seat would look like, and just how well this Kawi tank lines up. You can see how she looks with the flat bars and bar end mirrors. God it went from a bastard child of a Harley & Yamaha to a Roadster in the blink of the eye (as well as some imagination)
=======================
Now here is the revised plan. The only major part that I will have to buy is the tank. So let me describe for you what you see.
You have the Kawasaki gas tank replacing the stock tank.
There is a Norton front wheel with Drum brake (I will use the one I have at some point)
You have a Lucas 7" headlight.
Flat handlebars.
A Norton bench seat.
The rear fender is actually the front fender off a 1982 Suzuki GS550.
Mounted to the rear fender will be a replica Lucas tail light.
==========
The tail light in better detail looks like this:
They cost about $30 depending where you buy them.
Then the turn signals I plan to use cost $10 each and replicate the classic look, being Lucas replicas from the early 1970s.
One last part that I'll need is a new battery box.
This is designed to sit under the seat of a cafe racer and hold the battery as well as give a place for any electronics. There is an air box that I plan to remove as I will soon be fitting new carbs with pod air filters. The air box holds everything else in place, so when I remove the air box I'll have to for now make temp brackets to hold the electrics. But later, later I want to get one of these boxes for under the seat.
------------------------
The main thing to take away from all of this is simple. For roughly $600 I could cafe the motorcycle. This new plan, I have the whole thing together for less than $300. It will be more comfortable, hold more fuel, stop better, handle better, and look better - look better than any other of this model.
So we all remember my bike, you can see it clearly here - in the back of my car. Its hard to tell just how ugly the tank is, but I can assure you that it is quite ugly. That rear bar on the seat is equally horrific, and oh my god is the seat ugly. The whole design is just bastardly.
Well I figured it out a few days ago, I realized that there was a small chance that a gas tank off an early 80s Kawasaki KZP550 might just fit - as they share high backbone frame design. SO I asked my friend Jack, who owns one, to come over and let me see if his tank fit.
It DOES!
You can see here that it sits parallel to the ground (the base of the tank) which is wonderful. Not only that but the mounting bolt lines up almost perfectly. I might have to pad the frame with fiberglass to help with vibration. But the tank is a match!
From this angle (more steady) you can see what the Norton bench seat would look like, and just how well this Kawi tank lines up. You can see how she looks with the flat bars and bar end mirrors. God it went from a bastard child of a Harley & Yamaha to a Roadster in the blink of the eye (as well as some imagination)
=======================
Now here is the revised plan. The only major part that I will have to buy is the tank. So let me describe for you what you see.
You have the Kawasaki gas tank replacing the stock tank.
There is a Norton front wheel with Drum brake (I will use the one I have at some point)
You have a Lucas 7" headlight.
Flat handlebars.
A Norton bench seat.
The rear fender is actually the front fender off a 1982 Suzuki GS550.
Mounted to the rear fender will be a replica Lucas tail light.
==========
The tail light in better detail looks like this:
They cost about $30 depending where you buy them.
Then the turn signals I plan to use cost $10 each and replicate the classic look, being Lucas replicas from the early 1970s.
One last part that I'll need is a new battery box.
This is designed to sit under the seat of a cafe racer and hold the battery as well as give a place for any electronics. There is an air box that I plan to remove as I will soon be fitting new carbs with pod air filters. The air box holds everything else in place, so when I remove the air box I'll have to for now make temp brackets to hold the electrics. But later, later I want to get one of these boxes for under the seat.
------------------------
The main thing to take away from all of this is simple. For roughly $600 I could cafe the motorcycle. This new plan, I have the whole thing together for less than $300. It will be more comfortable, hold more fuel, stop better, handle better, and look better - look better than any other of this model.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Hum
I just went upstairs for more water. I'm out of Pepsi, mom got me a 20oz bottle when she came home from work, and I just finished it a few minutes ago.
It's Saint Patrick's day - a one year anniversary of my return from Phoenix. Its hard to imagine that I stepped off the plane one year ago today. It feels like ten years ago since I was in Phoenix. Since I had my own apartment, was roaring around in the heat on my motorcycle. Hanging out with Cam, Zach, Zero, Barrett, Bobbie, and a few others.
I can remember the days of sitting out on the bikes late into the night nursing a pepsi and smoking my pipe as we lay on top of our motorcycles listening to the Beatles play from Cam's ipod. Out by that abandoned Ford van that had a giant "Live the Dream" sticker across the top of the windshield. We'd just talk and listen to music.
Or trying to push start Cam's KZ1000 which is the same bike I rode across the country by myself. Working on the Royal Enfield, or working on the 73 Triumph Tiger.
Hanging out at Joe's house, he was one of the teachers. He was born in Lynn MA, we got along imidiatly. A great guy.
One year ago today my new start, my fresh brake, my dream came down in flames like an airplane that lost its engines.
I'm not bitter. I did more than you can imagine. But my god.. Anyways I'm feeling drugged so I'm going to go back to watching 24.
It's Saint Patrick's day - a one year anniversary of my return from Phoenix. Its hard to imagine that I stepped off the plane one year ago today. It feels like ten years ago since I was in Phoenix. Since I had my own apartment, was roaring around in the heat on my motorcycle. Hanging out with Cam, Zach, Zero, Barrett, Bobbie, and a few others.
I can remember the days of sitting out on the bikes late into the night nursing a pepsi and smoking my pipe as we lay on top of our motorcycles listening to the Beatles play from Cam's ipod. Out by that abandoned Ford van that had a giant "Live the Dream" sticker across the top of the windshield. We'd just talk and listen to music.
Or trying to push start Cam's KZ1000 which is the same bike I rode across the country by myself. Working on the Royal Enfield, or working on the 73 Triumph Tiger.
Hanging out at Joe's house, he was one of the teachers. He was born in Lynn MA, we got along imidiatly. A great guy.
One year ago today my new start, my fresh brake, my dream came down in flames like an airplane that lost its engines.
I'm not bitter. I did more than you can imagine. But my god.. Anyways I'm feeling drugged so I'm going to go back to watching 24.
Life (again)
I remembered this song today and found this recording, it is such a beautiful song.
They started me on a new medication today to make up for the disaster side effects of the last new one. Sertraline at 25mg a day. Dr Rosa wanted to start me out at a low dosage. I have hope, but won't know if it's working for 5-8 weeks. I am still on the Gabapentin at 2700mg per day.
I can't say that I am happy today. I am just trying to look towards the future. Not much more to say than that.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Life
I have been talking about and turning the Yamaha XS400 into a Cafe Racer.
My Yamaha looks like this:
A Yamaha XS Cafe racer looks something like this:
I have gone over a dozen ideas on how to go about this. There are a few options, but my frame is an ugly bastard, and I'm not sure how to do it.
What I do know - and I have plans - but what I do know is that I need a sidecar, and I have the plans to build one, and the friends to do it.
I'll need a fairing of some sort eventually - Craig Vetter (who designed the sidecar) is working on a new more streamlined fairing idea.
When I break it down, it comes to two choices.
Form over Function or Function over Form.
Ducati went out of business because they cared more about Function than looks - and put more money into the design and capabilities. So you'd buy a new Ducati and the first time you washed it the Ducati decals would come off - but Oh My God what a motorcycle you owned.
Harley cares more about Form, so do a lot of modern Cafe Racer (replicas) and Choppers. Its the look that drives them, not how the bike is actually put together.
This is why a Harley Sportster weighs almost 200 pounds more than a 73 Triumph of essentially the same capacities.
I have decided to go with Function over Form.
I need a sidecar. I need the bike to be in its best for function.
So while I REALLY want to cafe it. Do I put $350 into a tank, $150 into a seat, $50 into fenders, and $350 into a fairing?
No. The way to do it is to put the bike together the way it would have been done in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Instead of building a replica showy cafe racer - I'm going to build a real one. So it won't look like one, not like a replica.
I'll sort it out.
My Yamaha looks like this:
A Yamaha XS Cafe racer looks something like this:
I have gone over a dozen ideas on how to go about this. There are a few options, but my frame is an ugly bastard, and I'm not sure how to do it.
What I do know - and I have plans - but what I do know is that I need a sidecar, and I have the plans to build one, and the friends to do it.
I'll need a fairing of some sort eventually - Craig Vetter (who designed the sidecar) is working on a new more streamlined fairing idea.
When I break it down, it comes to two choices.
Form over Function or Function over Form.
Ducati went out of business because they cared more about Function than looks - and put more money into the design and capabilities. So you'd buy a new Ducati and the first time you washed it the Ducati decals would come off - but Oh My God what a motorcycle you owned.
Harley cares more about Form, so do a lot of modern Cafe Racer (replicas) and Choppers. Its the look that drives them, not how the bike is actually put together.
This is why a Harley Sportster weighs almost 200 pounds more than a 73 Triumph of essentially the same capacities.
I have decided to go with Function over Form.
I need a sidecar. I need the bike to be in its best for function.
So while I REALLY want to cafe it. Do I put $350 into a tank, $150 into a seat, $50 into fenders, and $350 into a fairing?
No. The way to do it is to put the bike together the way it would have been done in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Instead of building a replica showy cafe racer - I'm going to build a real one. So it won't look like one, not like a replica.
I'll sort it out.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Well Well Well...
Alright so I've been in bed predominantly for over a week, getting up and moving about hurts my legs which are weak and shaking. Pain is pretty intolerable, and I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, it is compliments of the last drug I was prescribed failing miserably. I am hoping that my car is solid enough to drive to it, but I can't blame Brent if he can't get this done. All I know, all I know is that I can barely move.
I am smoking less, not because I am exactly trying to quit so much as I am loosing the joy of the the smoking. I suspect it is my health not being so great, or maybe I am simply growing tired of the habit. Either way I suspect that my time with all of this is shorter than perviously planned.
I'm drinking more water than I used to. I may not be eating as much or as healthy as I should, but I am doing the best that I can. My willpower and my optimism require my being close to my motorcycle, my tools, my family, and my friends. I may not be at top notch - but I am in control over as much as I am physically capable of. That is where my desire to keep going remains strong.
It's a hard pill to swallow, this idea of remaining like this - stuck in bed, in pain for I don't know how long. So I with this inner conflict. The idea of talking about the pain has always felt like a violation. The of talking openly about being disabled feels like a violation. The very idea of BEING disabled feels like a violation.
We are taught not to complain. Society re-enforces the fact that we should not complain. This feels like complaining. It's not complaining. I am in pain. I spend most of my time alone. I can't do any of the things that I enjoy. I can barely move most of the time. Is it still complaining when its the truth?
How many times have I said "I'm fine" when I was either ready to blow my brains out or shut down from extreme pain. How many years have I been trying to shine it on?
I'll keep trying to say I'm fine, and I'll keep trying to shine it on. But I need an outlet, and my journals just dont cut it anymore. So this is it. This and answering truthfully - if someone asks me how I'm doing, I now tell them.
It's the only way to save sanity.
I am smoking less, not because I am exactly trying to quit so much as I am loosing the joy of the the smoking. I suspect it is my health not being so great, or maybe I am simply growing tired of the habit. Either way I suspect that my time with all of this is shorter than perviously planned.
I'm drinking more water than I used to. I may not be eating as much or as healthy as I should, but I am doing the best that I can. My willpower and my optimism require my being close to my motorcycle, my tools, my family, and my friends. I may not be at top notch - but I am in control over as much as I am physically capable of. That is where my desire to keep going remains strong.
It's a hard pill to swallow, this idea of remaining like this - stuck in bed, in pain for I don't know how long. So I with this inner conflict. The idea of talking about the pain has always felt like a violation. The of talking openly about being disabled feels like a violation. The very idea of BEING disabled feels like a violation.
We are taught not to complain. Society re-enforces the fact that we should not complain. This feels like complaining. It's not complaining. I am in pain. I spend most of my time alone. I can't do any of the things that I enjoy. I can barely move most of the time. Is it still complaining when its the truth?
How many times have I said "I'm fine" when I was either ready to blow my brains out or shut down from extreme pain. How many years have I been trying to shine it on?
I'll keep trying to say I'm fine, and I'll keep trying to shine it on. But I need an outlet, and my journals just dont cut it anymore. So this is it. This and answering truthfully - if someone asks me how I'm doing, I now tell them.
It's the only way to save sanity.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
XS400 and Rambling of Life.
I have been watching 24, I started with the pilot and am now on Season 5 episode 18, which is almost over. Pretty excellent stuff, and pretty addicting to watch. Have to hand it to them, it takes a hell of a lot of load out of the tediousness of being locked up down here all the time.
I'm hoping that my car is fixed this weekend, I'll try to help Brent with it - I owe him that much, he's been doing all the work for 3 weeks now. A hell of a friend, you have to admit.
I am excited about those Flat Slide carbs for the XS. I have to rejet them as well get or make the manifolds (might as well buy them) in order to mount them to the Yamaha.
This means I will have the engine work done, new carb boots. Thats all good. Add to that the new exhaust with no leaks, the brand new flat slide carbs, and a new high quality chain - and what I have should give me another 80,000 miles. She may be ugly for now, but I'll figure out a way around that.
Anyways, I'm pleased with what I have - Grandpa Martin used to say "The key to Happyness is to want what you have" and I have an amazing family, INCREDIBLE friends who might as well be family, I have a car that is easy to work on, I have a motorcycle that will last for as long as I need, I have my youth even if it is slightly impeded, and I have a house to live in with food to eat.
When you cut it down to the basics, I may have 3 syndromes that I can never be rid of, and I may have PSTD, and I may have some down right horrific memories - but I also have so much more than a Lot of people in this world, and I will be damned to hell before I forget that.
I'm hoping that my car is fixed this weekend, I'll try to help Brent with it - I owe him that much, he's been doing all the work for 3 weeks now. A hell of a friend, you have to admit.
I am excited about those Flat Slide carbs for the XS. I have to rejet them as well get or make the manifolds (might as well buy them) in order to mount them to the Yamaha.
This means I will have the engine work done, new carb boots. Thats all good. Add to that the new exhaust with no leaks, the brand new flat slide carbs, and a new high quality chain - and what I have should give me another 80,000 miles. She may be ugly for now, but I'll figure out a way around that.
Anyways, I'm pleased with what I have - Grandpa Martin used to say "The key to Happyness is to want what you have" and I have an amazing family, INCREDIBLE friends who might as well be family, I have a car that is easy to work on, I have a motorcycle that will last for as long as I need, I have my youth even if it is slightly impeded, and I have a house to live in with food to eat.
When you cut it down to the basics, I may have 3 syndromes that I can never be rid of, and I may have PSTD, and I may have some down right horrific memories - but I also have so much more than a Lot of people in this world, and I will be damned to hell before I forget that.
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About Me
- Jack Greenman
- Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War! But no, really, I'm a student to be a motorcycle mechanic, I'm 25, I write a lot, I eat less than I should, I sleep less than I should, but I like to get out and live. I don't drink, but I smoke a pipe. My sense of style is at Least 40 years out of date, I am who I am, and That's who I am.