Well its almost 4AM that should tell you something. But what? Well that's the deciding factor isn't it? It either means I'm in so much pain I can't move, or it means I had an excellent night.
Well in this case its sort of a combination of both.
I went over to John's house around 7pm, which was good, except he wasn't there. So I sat around on the couch, had a smoke of my pipe, fell asleep. Woke up to a knock on the door which was Stevie. He came in, we watched some Spaceballs then some Blazing Saddles. This was followed by the doorbell, so Steve went down and it was Paul (a fellow who graduated with John). So from there he came in and we talked and he had his cigars. So you have myself who smokes pipe tobacco, Steve who rolls his own cigarettes, and then you have Paul who smokes fine cigars. Quite a group to put in a 12x12 room - happily it has a ceiling fan.
After a while John came home with his evil dog. The night passed on with a lot of talking and then the door bell rang again and we were joined by Martin who is a bit younger than Steve, but a college grad as well, curly black hair and now a black mustache, he's into the music scene and is getting into prof stage hand work. Add a bit more time and we are joined by Alex who is older I think than Martin, but younger than Steve. He served in the Navy, I'm not sure what he does now but I think it's still military - he's quite good looking - so is Martin actually - and has done well for himself, bought himself a house about 3 blocks from John. Good guy.
So the night rolled forward, we talked, laughed, listened, watched TV. The night just rolled along smoothly until around 12:30AM when John kicked us out. From there Steve and I headed out, picked up some cash, and headed to the Diner. Got some good food, listened to some good music. Booked it back to John's house - which is a vertical 2 decker, John owns it and lives on the second floor, Stevie has started renting the first floor. Dropped Steve off, hung a hard turn around, still smoking the bowl I packed at the Diner, and headed home.
Got in here, took a bath, came back to bed. I've been watching a couple hours television - namely supernatural. Now as the caffine buzz is slowly wearing off I am coming to that point where I shall pass out. I have a plan for Friday.
Anyways, I'm going to smoke one more bowl of tobacco, down the rest of my soda, shut the lights out, and pass out.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I haven't gotten much time in with the fiddle yet, I'm still working on that... my hands and arms hurt too much of the time, but time will tell. I love the fiddle, it will just take time.
This was taken just now. Hahahaha, man I look like hell, but at least I'm still kicking.
I'm not feeling so good right now. I'm about to take my morning batch of meds. The most bastardly thing just happened. I have this molar that cracked in half after an incident in Phoenix - where I pulled out the broken half with a pair of pliers (high pain tolerance) and well now its like half a tooth and an open spot - well the 25mg pills that I take 1x a day are really small, and one just got stuck in the damned tooth - took a bit of effort and some pain to get it out. Thats just sore luck. I am SO not looking forward to the dentist when ever I have to finally go. With my tongue I can count 5 teeth that going to need SERIOUS work. But that broken one, that just scares me because 10:1 they are going to have to take it out and there really isn't much to grip, so they'll probably have to dig it out... so you can see why I feel some need to delay the inevitable...
In my defense, when you're in so much pain you're pissing in bottles because the hobble to the bathroom is too far, or say you spent a few months on narcotic pain killers, or a month or so asleep because the new nerve pain med had that side effect... well the whole perfect teeth thing sort of gets forgotten. I do brush, but I haven't been strong enough to climb into the bath tub the last few days, life just sucks sometimes. YES I made it to SJ for a show but my mother and even the contractor working on the house didn't want to let me out.
Fuck it. Right? and I'm bailing cause the pain is on the climb.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Hmmmm
I briefly talked to Cam today. It was a very short conversation, but god was it good to hear from him.
I got out to see a show tonight at SJ. It was an underclassman production, free admission. There were two very good shows, one was "Touch It" and the other was "The Tape". What the show really was, was five 10 minute plays, a broad range. Good stuff. Those two though stood out.
I also ran into Ian and a few other guys. It was nice, it was very nice. As I said, I quite like Ian. He is shaping into a solid guy, what I mean is he is becoming a good adult. He's going to be a good man, I have a lot of respect for him. He's a decade younger than me, and if I were 40 or 50 then that would not matter, but I am 26, which means he is 16. He being 16, that is not a negotiable range for pursuit. 18 is ok, legally 18 is ok. But that's still strange. 16 however, he's still a kid. So instead we remain friends, and I get to watch a kid who I respect turn into a man I respect.
I can't feel my legs right now, but god do my feet hurt. I have been developing something of bed sores on my heels. A side effect of the last few weeks/months. Its not the heels that hurt. Its all the little bones in my feet. Thats what kills me, is bones, muscles, joints. If I clench my fist, tears come to my eyes.
Anyways, I'm done for now.
I got out to see a show tonight at SJ. It was an underclassman production, free admission. There were two very good shows, one was "Touch It" and the other was "The Tape". What the show really was, was five 10 minute plays, a broad range. Good stuff. Those two though stood out.
I also ran into Ian and a few other guys. It was nice, it was very nice. As I said, I quite like Ian. He is shaping into a solid guy, what I mean is he is becoming a good adult. He's going to be a good man, I have a lot of respect for him. He's a decade younger than me, and if I were 40 or 50 then that would not matter, but I am 26, which means he is 16. He being 16, that is not a negotiable range for pursuit. 18 is ok, legally 18 is ok. But that's still strange. 16 however, he's still a kid. So instead we remain friends, and I get to watch a kid who I respect turn into a man I respect.
I can't feel my legs right now, but god do my feet hurt. I have been developing something of bed sores on my heels. A side effect of the last few weeks/months. Its not the heels that hurt. Its all the little bones in my feet. Thats what kills me, is bones, muscles, joints. If I clench my fist, tears come to my eyes.
Anyways, I'm done for now.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Dancing with the Trains
So in our little regular TC room we go to where us young gays hang out, well we got to talking and I was bummed out and somehow got onto the subject of suicide. See? This is something I have thought about for years, I've even tried it a few times, pills, a gun. Not for a long time, but mom and I have talked about it. She understands that with all the stuff going on in my head, combined with the physical pain I'm in, well she understands that if I ever hit a breaking point, that its no one's fault, its just me hitting my limit. I know that would crush her, and my brother. I have no intention anymore... but I'm so tired. I get so tired of this sometimes that you, well...
But the way I figure it, if I was going to do it, it'd have to be full proof - it would also have to REALLY be the end of my line. See, I know for a fact that when you put a loaded gun to your head you can have doubts, and then you know its not right, but then you can also pull that trigger, even though you don't believe in what you're doing. Then again, pills, well you can take those when your head is all fucked up, but... well my god you can start feeling better before they kill you - I am convinced thats what happened to my friend Sam, and he died in my arms.
So my solution?
Dancing with the Trains.
It takes a real desire to throw yourself into a train's path. I mean sure I could just walk down the track with headphones on, listening to A Whiter Shade of Pale, or maybe Believe, or Let the Old Ways Die... or Heartland which I had on loop when I tried with the gun.
No matter how you cut it though, to get hit by a train, to me, fear would drive me out of the way unless I was fully ready to go. I would have to be one with the plan. I'd have to hit my breaking point, and pass it.
So for me thats my exit strategy, I would dance with the trains. Mind you I have no intention, this is not a cry for help, don't go getting paranoid on me. It's just... its something that had taken a lot of thought, and quite frankly this is my blog and I can write what I want.
Anyways (I just fell asleep) hee is the conversation:
[23:12] steezemuffin: its sad to think we're in a society thats sick enough to make people feel like thats the only way out....
[23:13] wizid: you mean suicide?
[23:13] wizid: or walking in front of a bus?
[23:13] steezemuffin: yeah
[23:13] wizid: if I ever go I plan to dance with the trains
[23:14] wizid: just take a nice walk on the tracks with my headphones on
[23:14] wizid: listening to Procal Harum
[23:14] wizid: I have a plan, I just cant use it
[23:14] wizid: it would kill mom
[23:15] nate1234: wait jack. u have a plan for what?
[23:15] wizid: suicide of course
[23:15] nate1234: for urself?
[23:15] wizid: I like to plan ahead
[23:16] steezemuffin: jack, I honestly wish I could offer you some light at the end of the tunnell....
[23:16] wizid: of course
[23:16] nate1234: thats terible
[23:16] wizid: I appreciate that Floyd, Matt... I really do
[23:16] wizid: I've talked to mom
[23:16] wizid: she knows that there is a chance I'm not going to make it
[23:16] wizid: I signed a DNR last year
[23:17] nate1234: not going to make it as in ur gonna kill urself or ur medical problems?
[23:17] wizid: kill myself
[23:17] wizid: I have no plan to right now
[23:17] wizid: but I have struggled with it for 14 years
[23:17] wizid: I've been in pain 24/7 for as long as I can remember, there is no end in site
[23:18] wizid: I have 3 syndromes, one will get worse
[23:18] nate1234: oh. im srry jack. i can see where ur coming from.
[23:18] wizid: I have PTSD which includes nightmares
[23:18] nate1234: how did u get ptsd>
[23:18] joe: Yeah, PTSD sucks.
[23:18] wizid: I'm afraid of physical contact and intimte relationships
[23:18] joe: good friend plus mom has it
[23:18] wizid: soooo if I do grow tired of this constant strugle
[23:19] wizid: I'm going to dance with the trains
[23:19] wizid: thats the end game, when ever it may happen
[23:19] joe: well lets hope it doesn't jack
[23:19] wizid: Nate... I got it from the rape, the fag hunt, and the porn
[23:19] joe: jesus
[23:19] wizid: among other things
[23:19] nate1234: my friend did a tour in Iraq and thats how he acquired it
[23:19] wizid: yes, most guys my age got it from war
[23:20] wizid: which sucks all on its own
[23:20] nate1234: to be honest, i cant say id be thinking any different than you if i had constant pain that would only get worse
[23:20] wizid: I've also been in bed over a year
[23:20] wizid: I love my family and my friends, I remain fairly upbeat
[23:20] wizid: you guys help a TON
[23:21] wizid: I'd be dead by now without TC/Stickam
[23:21] wizid: I'm just tired, I just want it to be over
[23:21] nate1234: im not sure how is feel or what id do. and glad to help jack
[23:21] wizid: I'm sorry for this LONG ramble
[23:21] nate1234: its not a ramble
[23:21] wizid: but I appreciate you guys listening to it
[23:22] joe: Jack, I think I can speak for about everyone, non of us mind
[23:22] wizid: thanks
[23:22] nate1234: got that right. anything, anytime
[23:22] wizid: and the meds fuck with my head
[23:22] wizid: but anyways
[23:22] wizid: I'm done, I dont even know what brought that up - Ryan was depressed earlier
[23:22] wizid: I guess it just hit me
[23:23] m1ke: :(
[23:23] joe: I hate depression...
[23:23] wizid: the funny thing is I'm not really depressed
[23:23] wizid: I'm pretty upbeat
[23:23] wizid: I... I'm just tired
[23:23] joe: Really? It's not just on the outside?
[23:23] wizid: tired of being alone, afraid of touch, afraid to sleep
[23:24] wizid: when I'm alone at night it gets bad
[23:24] wizid: demons, you know
[23:24] nate1234: porn and weed are always good friends, right?
[23:24] wizid: HAHAHA
[23:24] wizid: nahhhhh not for me
[23:25] joe: lol demons?
[23:25] wizid: weed makes me paranoid, and I know too much about porn to be entertained
[23:25] joe: what are you clay?
[23:25] wizid: OHHHHHHH NOOOO JOE!
[23:25] wizid: FUCK CLay
[23:25] joe: :D
[23:25] nate1234: they do pretty good for me.
[23:25] m1ke: whose clay
[23:25] wizid: I used that term since I was 14
[23:25] nate1234: yeah, whose clay
[23:25] m1ke: like the squishy stuff?
[23:25] wizid: its for the ghosts of my past
[23:25] steezemuffin: lol
[23:25] wizid: not evil spirits
[23:25] joe: O okay =/
[23:25] wizid: fucking Clay
[23:25] wizid: ruins everythig for me
[23:26] joe: hahaa
[23:26] joe: bastard
[23:26] wizid: Mike Clay was this idiot on the forum
[23:26] m1ke: i love clay
[23:26] wizid: who had no self esteem
[23:26] wizid: loves elbows
[23:26] steezemuffin: clay was a legend
[23:26] m1ke: i make all kinds of stuff with it
[23:26] steezemuffin: he won't be forgotten any time soon
[23:26] m1ke: Lol wtf? elbows?
[23:26] wizid: and thought demons were invading his mind
[23:26] nate1234: haha. oh, ok
[23:26] joe: Also, just a suggestion, don't ask your mom to buy you zippo fluid :P
[23:26] wizid: hahaha Joe
But the way I figure it, if I was going to do it, it'd have to be full proof - it would also have to REALLY be the end of my line. See, I know for a fact that when you put a loaded gun to your head you can have doubts, and then you know its not right, but then you can also pull that trigger, even though you don't believe in what you're doing. Then again, pills, well you can take those when your head is all fucked up, but... well my god you can start feeling better before they kill you - I am convinced thats what happened to my friend Sam, and he died in my arms.
So my solution?
Dancing with the Trains.
It takes a real desire to throw yourself into a train's path. I mean sure I could just walk down the track with headphones on, listening to A Whiter Shade of Pale, or maybe Believe, or Let the Old Ways Die... or Heartland which I had on loop when I tried with the gun.
No matter how you cut it though, to get hit by a train, to me, fear would drive me out of the way unless I was fully ready to go. I would have to be one with the plan. I'd have to hit my breaking point, and pass it.
So for me thats my exit strategy, I would dance with the trains. Mind you I have no intention, this is not a cry for help, don't go getting paranoid on me. It's just... its something that had taken a lot of thought, and quite frankly this is my blog and I can write what I want.
Anyways (I just fell asleep) hee is the conversation:
[23:12] steezemuffin: its sad to think we're in a society thats sick enough to make people feel like thats the only way out....
[23:13] wizid: you mean suicide?
[23:13] wizid: or walking in front of a bus?
[23:13] steezemuffin: yeah
[23:13] wizid: if I ever go I plan to dance with the trains
[23:14] wizid: just take a nice walk on the tracks with my headphones on
[23:14] wizid: listening to Procal Harum
[23:14] wizid: I have a plan, I just cant use it
[23:14] wizid: it would kill mom
[23:15] nate1234: wait jack. u have a plan for what?
[23:15] wizid: suicide of course
[23:15] nate1234: for urself?
[23:15] wizid: I like to plan ahead
[23:16] steezemuffin: jack, I honestly wish I could offer you some light at the end of the tunnell....
[23:16] wizid: of course
[23:16] nate1234: thats terible
[23:16] wizid: I appreciate that Floyd, Matt... I really do
[23:16] wizid: I've talked to mom
[23:16] wizid: she knows that there is a chance I'm not going to make it
[23:16] wizid: I signed a DNR last year
[23:17] nate1234: not going to make it as in ur gonna kill urself or ur medical problems?
[23:17] wizid: kill myself
[23:17] wizid: I have no plan to right now
[23:17] wizid: but I have struggled with it for 14 years
[23:17] wizid: I've been in pain 24/7 for as long as I can remember, there is no end in site
[23:18] wizid: I have 3 syndromes, one will get worse
[23:18] nate1234: oh. im srry jack. i can see where ur coming from.
[23:18] wizid: I have PTSD which includes nightmares
[23:18] nate1234: how did u get ptsd>
[23:18] joe: Yeah, PTSD sucks.
[23:18] wizid: I'm afraid of physical contact and intimte relationships
[23:18] joe: good friend plus mom has it
[23:18] wizid: soooo if I do grow tired of this constant strugle
[23:19] wizid: I'm going to dance with the trains
[23:19] wizid: thats the end game, when ever it may happen
[23:19] joe: well lets hope it doesn't jack
[23:19] wizid: Nate... I got it from the rape, the fag hunt, and the porn
[23:19] joe: jesus
[23:19] wizid: among other things
[23:19] nate1234: my friend did a tour in Iraq and thats how he acquired it
[23:19] wizid: yes, most guys my age got it from war
[23:20] wizid: which sucks all on its own
[23:20] nate1234: to be honest, i cant say id be thinking any different than you if i had constant pain that would only get worse
[23:20] wizid: I've also been in bed over a year
[23:20] wizid: I love my family and my friends, I remain fairly upbeat
[23:20] wizid: you guys help a TON
[23:21] wizid: I'd be dead by now without TC/Stickam
[23:21] wizid: I'm just tired, I just want it to be over
[23:21] nate1234: im not sure how is feel or what id do. and glad to help jack
[23:21] wizid: I'm sorry for this LONG ramble
[23:21] nate1234: its not a ramble
[23:21] wizid: but I appreciate you guys listening to it
[23:22] joe: Jack, I think I can speak for about everyone, non of us mind
[23:22] wizid: thanks
[23:22] nate1234: got that right. anything, anytime
[23:22] wizid: and the meds fuck with my head
[23:22] wizid: but anyways
[23:22] wizid: I'm done, I dont even know what brought that up - Ryan was depressed earlier
[23:22] wizid: I guess it just hit me
[23:23] m1ke: :(
[23:23] joe: I hate depression...
[23:23] wizid: the funny thing is I'm not really depressed
[23:23] wizid: I'm pretty upbeat
[23:23] wizid: I... I'm just tired
[23:23] joe: Really? It's not just on the outside?
[23:23] wizid: tired of being alone, afraid of touch, afraid to sleep
[23:24] wizid: when I'm alone at night it gets bad
[23:24] wizid: demons, you know
[23:24] nate1234: porn and weed are always good friends, right?
[23:24] wizid: HAHAHA
[23:24] wizid: nahhhhh not for me
[23:25] joe: lol demons?
[23:25] wizid: weed makes me paranoid, and I know too much about porn to be entertained
[23:25] joe: what are you clay?
[23:25] wizid: OHHHHHHH NOOOO JOE!
[23:25] wizid: FUCK CLay
[23:25] joe: :D
[23:25] nate1234: they do pretty good for me.
[23:25] m1ke: whose clay
[23:25] wizid: I used that term since I was 14
[23:25] nate1234: yeah, whose clay
[23:25] m1ke: like the squishy stuff?
[23:25] wizid: its for the ghosts of my past
[23:25] steezemuffin: lol
[23:25] wizid: not evil spirits
[23:25] joe: O okay =/
[23:25] wizid: fucking Clay
[23:25] wizid: ruins everythig for me
[23:26] joe: hahaa
[23:26] joe: bastard
[23:26] wizid: Mike Clay was this idiot on the forum
[23:26] m1ke: i love clay
[23:26] wizid: who had no self esteem
[23:26] wizid: loves elbows
[23:26] steezemuffin: clay was a legend
[23:26] m1ke: i make all kinds of stuff with it
[23:26] steezemuffin: he won't be forgotten any time soon
[23:26] m1ke: Lol wtf? elbows?
[23:26] wizid: and thought demons were invading his mind
[23:26] nate1234: haha. oh, ok
[23:26] joe: Also, just a suggestion, don't ask your mom to buy you zippo fluid :P
[23:26] wizid: hahaha Joe
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Good Stuff!
Welp my brother and sister in law got back from their honey moon today, they spent a week in Mexico. Not exactly sure where, but they were there and they had a lot of fun. I'm happy for them. They got me a little gift, its this little Aztec looking statue thing, its shiny black, it was hard to get a good picture of, I did a side profile.
My new MA ID arrived in the mail. It doesn't do me much good, its useful if I get pulled over, but I don't speed or anything. Its good for buying alcohol, but I don't drink hahaha, so all in all it was $50 and its pretty useless. It expires in 2011. The real joke is that my AZ license which cost $10 is active until 2049. So I'm keeping them both, I think its kind of funny.
I am quite aware that you could snatch most of my personal info off of my license. If you want to steal my identity, feel free, I am in debt up to my ears, I am sick, I don't own anything, and my credit is in the tank. So really, there's not much damage you could do. As to my address and stalking me, my name is on the site, you know my city, I'm not that hard to find - I think you'd find you had a problem if you tried anything, life's experience has made me much tougher and much less afraid - that in a way has been my problem through the years, I have walked into situations that I shouldn't have.
But on the other hand that calm has held and served me well. When Sam died in my arms, I held myself together, and when I found Dad's body, I held myself together - I called 911, I delt with mom, I called his family, my family, I was solid for about a week. Was is the key word there, it all went to shit after dad died. That changes you.
Cam the scary looking dude in the picture who was at the time giving me my Norton tattoo is getting out of prison on April 19. I can't even BEGIN to describe to you how that makes me feel. My god.. He'll be free and clear. His mother invited me to the celebration, and I will be damned to hell if I'm not going to be there. It's a hell of a trip, but I have family in South Carolina, thats about 15 hours, which I can do in a day. Then a short trip to Atlanta.
No I'm not in fighting shape. I'm actually incredibly hammered, and this may be incredibly stupid. But Cam is like a brother to me, he has been as good a friend as just about anyone, and just like when mom was in the hospital and I pulled together enough strength to see her and take care of the house when she was sick, I will do the same to get down and see my friend. That can be done with one of my Disability checks. Seeing Cam again, and out of prison means more to me than anything right now. I'd go to hell and back for that guy. He's the one who gave me my tattoos, and I gave him the KZ1000. I have been talking to his mother since he got locked up. Zach has been talking to his father - there is a real chance that I'd get to see Zach too. I would probably get to see Uncle Rob, and Uncle John as well.
Unless I am so broken I can't move, on April 19 I Will be in Georgia. That is a fact. I may not be able to walk so good, and I may be pretty hammered most of the time, but I can sure as hell sit down and drive. A bit over a year ago I rode a motorcycle across this country all by myself. I have driven and ridden bikes in horrific pain to get where I need to be, and I can pull myself together when I really need to for a bit. That means that I can go down there and see Cam, sit down where ever the party is and talk to him and his family and his friends, spend a night or two, turn around, and drive back. That is doable.
Anyways, pure insanity aside, this is something I have to do, its like making it through my brother's wedding. It had to be done.
Anyways, Good Stuff may not have been the perfect title for this, but it fits well enough.
I made this video a while ago:
And I wanna thank the guy from Colorado for his comments. Sorry I don't reply much, but I sure as hell appreciate it. My book is coming along slowly, its hard writing and sometimes I like to avoid the pages for a while. It brings up a lot of stuff I don't want to think about. I guess thats the catch 22 of writing such a thing, you need to but you really really dont want to be Thinking about it!
Peace - for now.
Oh! And two other things.
1. I now have a Real connection to Floyd! He's a guy I greatly appreciate, and he's got a blog on here, but yea, I'm happy that I finally, its no longer by chance when I see him in chat.
2. Dave, another friend of mine, turns out he's a photographer and has some prints for sale, and I found one I really like, so I sent him some mail and I'm going to see what he wants for it. Depending I will have a nice new picture to put up on my wall, its more special when you know the artist.
My new MA ID arrived in the mail. It doesn't do me much good, its useful if I get pulled over, but I don't speed or anything. Its good for buying alcohol, but I don't drink hahaha, so all in all it was $50 and its pretty useless. It expires in 2011. The real joke is that my AZ license which cost $10 is active until 2049. So I'm keeping them both, I think its kind of funny.
I am quite aware that you could snatch most of my personal info off of my license. If you want to steal my identity, feel free, I am in debt up to my ears, I am sick, I don't own anything, and my credit is in the tank. So really, there's not much damage you could do. As to my address and stalking me, my name is on the site, you know my city, I'm not that hard to find - I think you'd find you had a problem if you tried anything, life's experience has made me much tougher and much less afraid - that in a way has been my problem through the years, I have walked into situations that I shouldn't have.
But on the other hand that calm has held and served me well. When Sam died in my arms, I held myself together, and when I found Dad's body, I held myself together - I called 911, I delt with mom, I called his family, my family, I was solid for about a week. Was is the key word there, it all went to shit after dad died. That changes you.
Cam the scary looking dude in the picture who was at the time giving me my Norton tattoo is getting out of prison on April 19. I can't even BEGIN to describe to you how that makes me feel. My god.. He'll be free and clear. His mother invited me to the celebration, and I will be damned to hell if I'm not going to be there. It's a hell of a trip, but I have family in South Carolina, thats about 15 hours, which I can do in a day. Then a short trip to Atlanta.
No I'm not in fighting shape. I'm actually incredibly hammered, and this may be incredibly stupid. But Cam is like a brother to me, he has been as good a friend as just about anyone, and just like when mom was in the hospital and I pulled together enough strength to see her and take care of the house when she was sick, I will do the same to get down and see my friend. That can be done with one of my Disability checks. Seeing Cam again, and out of prison means more to me than anything right now. I'd go to hell and back for that guy. He's the one who gave me my tattoos, and I gave him the KZ1000. I have been talking to his mother since he got locked up. Zach has been talking to his father - there is a real chance that I'd get to see Zach too. I would probably get to see Uncle Rob, and Uncle John as well.
Unless I am so broken I can't move, on April 19 I Will be in Georgia. That is a fact. I may not be able to walk so good, and I may be pretty hammered most of the time, but I can sure as hell sit down and drive. A bit over a year ago I rode a motorcycle across this country all by myself. I have driven and ridden bikes in horrific pain to get where I need to be, and I can pull myself together when I really need to for a bit. That means that I can go down there and see Cam, sit down where ever the party is and talk to him and his family and his friends, spend a night or two, turn around, and drive back. That is doable.
Anyways, pure insanity aside, this is something I have to do, its like making it through my brother's wedding. It had to be done.
Anyways, Good Stuff may not have been the perfect title for this, but it fits well enough.
I made this video a while ago:
And I wanna thank the guy from Colorado for his comments. Sorry I don't reply much, but I sure as hell appreciate it. My book is coming along slowly, its hard writing and sometimes I like to avoid the pages for a while. It brings up a lot of stuff I don't want to think about. I guess thats the catch 22 of writing such a thing, you need to but you really really dont want to be Thinking about it!
Peace - for now.
Oh! And two other things.
1. I now have a Real connection to Floyd! He's a guy I greatly appreciate, and he's got a blog on here, but yea, I'm happy that I finally, its no longer by chance when I see him in chat.
2. Dave, another friend of mine, turns out he's a photographer and has some prints for sale, and I found one I really like, so I sent him some mail and I'm going to see what he wants for it. Depending I will have a nice new picture to put up on my wall, its more special when you know the artist.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Hum
Well I went to Performance all dressed up in my beat Triumph jacket, wool hat, fingerless wool gloves. I was looking at the new Triumphs and a gentleman came over and stated that I looked like someone who rode older Triumphs - which made my day, I miss my 73 Tiger! The new ones are great, but it's just not the same thing.
I bought a new clutch cable for the XS, and I ordered a Chain Breaker so I can properly install the new chain on the XS. Once that gets here Tuesday I will be back ahead of the game. I still have to replace the oil bolt, maybe make a new gasket somewhere, and refill the oil. I also have to install the original mufflers because I have no idea when I will be getting my MAC Exhaust. The bike also needs new gas lines, a cheap fix. I will work on all of that soon enough. Crazy stuff that it is, the bike needs some effort to get back to sorts.
I may cut out the old Balance pipe and wrap the exhausts so that they go on the bike easier - its the balance pipe that is all shot to shit from rust. I have run plenty of bikes without such a pipe, so it should be OK.
I also made it to The Owl Shop where I picked up 3oz of the Patterson Blend, as well as 100g of Rattray's Jocks Mixture. I got the Rattrays because I had experimented with the #3 blend and liked it. The Jury is still out on if I like this Jocks mixture or not... I don't like it too much. I have a bowl of dusty Saint John's left.
I have divided up the tobacco I put 50g or Pattersons' in a Bombay Extra tin and I put 50g of the Rattrays in an Arcadia tin. Makes it easier to get at than in the original tins, and I can travel with them.
I am now smoking mostly straight pipes, the IMP, the Petersons', and the Owl Shop pipe.
Good stuff all around.
Took a nap when I got home, then Brent came over and stayed a good while. It was great to see him, we talked for ages. Watched 2 episodes of Frasier (Roz Snoz and Bla-Z-Boy), then we watched an episode of Burn Notice, and an episode of House (DNR), there was also some Josh Ritter music in there (To the Dogs or Whoever, Rumors, and Minds Eye).
I'm pretty messed up from the pills, but I'm holding. I am going to SJ later today to hang out with some of the crew.
I bought a new clutch cable for the XS, and I ordered a Chain Breaker so I can properly install the new chain on the XS. Once that gets here Tuesday I will be back ahead of the game. I still have to replace the oil bolt, maybe make a new gasket somewhere, and refill the oil. I also have to install the original mufflers because I have no idea when I will be getting my MAC Exhaust. The bike also needs new gas lines, a cheap fix. I will work on all of that soon enough. Crazy stuff that it is, the bike needs some effort to get back to sorts.
I may cut out the old Balance pipe and wrap the exhausts so that they go on the bike easier - its the balance pipe that is all shot to shit from rust. I have run plenty of bikes without such a pipe, so it should be OK.
I also made it to The Owl Shop where I picked up 3oz of the Patterson Blend, as well as 100g of Rattray's Jocks Mixture. I got the Rattrays because I had experimented with the #3 blend and liked it. The Jury is still out on if I like this Jocks mixture or not... I don't like it too much. I have a bowl of dusty Saint John's left.
I have divided up the tobacco I put 50g or Pattersons' in a Bombay Extra tin and I put 50g of the Rattrays in an Arcadia tin. Makes it easier to get at than in the original tins, and I can travel with them.
I am now smoking mostly straight pipes, the IMP, the Petersons', and the Owl Shop pipe.
Good stuff all around.
Took a nap when I got home, then Brent came over and stayed a good while. It was great to see him, we talked for ages. Watched 2 episodes of Frasier (Roz Snoz and Bla-Z-Boy), then we watched an episode of Burn Notice, and an episode of House (DNR), there was also some Josh Ritter music in there (To the Dogs or Whoever, Rumors, and Minds Eye).
I'm pretty messed up from the pills, but I'm holding. I am going to SJ later today to hang out with some of the crew.
XS Update
Yesterday the Yamaha got a little bit of work. Nothing major, just some. I rebuilt the rear brake, did some work on the primary sprocket as well as the installation of the sprocket cover, and I got most of the chain on.
Now I'm heading off to Performance Cycles for a chain breaker, some fuel line, and... I think that's probably it.
Now I'm heading off to Performance Cycles for a chain breaker, some fuel line, and... I think that's probably it.
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About Me
- Jack Greenman
- Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War! But no, really, I'm a student to be a motorcycle mechanic, I'm 25, I write a lot, I eat less than I should, I sleep less than I should, but I like to get out and live. I don't drink, but I smoke a pipe. My sense of style is at Least 40 years out of date, I am who I am, and That's who I am.