My Aunt Debbie called this morning to tell us that one of my Uncles died at 2am from a heart attack. I am sobbing as I type this. Two years ago my father died. The whole family gathered for his service, and John of course was among them. When he took up with my Aunt Maggie he sort of became an older brother of Dad. He got Dad into racing motorcycles and gave him his first set of racing leathers. My father always spoke well of John. Always had so many stories to tell. And after Dad died John had a lot of the same stories to tell me. He was really there for me, through email. He gave me a tour of his factory 3 weeks after dad died - I rode out their on Dad's Triumph T100. It took my father's death to really get to know him in person. I can't believe he's gone. I was just talking about him the other night. I miss him extremely already. And I have no idea how to console his wife, and his daughter. And Josh his grandson is just old enough to know what's going on. I'm sobbing so hard, its hard to see.
JACK. . .sorry bout your uncle's death and your real sorrow. Hard. i dont need to tell you that.But it seems good to me that you are able to tell us how awful you feel and about your tears. There is something very healing about tear. . .a good release for all the stuff that builds up inside us.
ReplyDeleteWere I there, bro, I'd hug you, hold you and let you cry. . . I got good shoulders to cry on and protective arms. . . and a heart than can feel with you.
Sometimes it's not the words we say or even try to find. . it's just being there. When you're ready you'll know what to or not to say. .follow your heart. . . . I am . . ;-)
Hang in there; be gentle. . .
justin
Justin,
ReplyDeleteThank you kindly for this note. Writing is my escape, or perhaps my self expression and explanation. Its the only way I know how to express all the things I often cannot say out loud.
I am or have grown afraid over the years of physical contact. Its been 10 years since I've been held. But somehow I think, if you were here I'd let you, I think that would be the most soothing thing in the world right now.
Thank you so much for this note. Good advice to follow my heart, I think.. I think it will be the only way I make it through this week.
Kindest,
Jack