Well I am slowly writing out my past, I'm at 16 pages of single spaced, and I have a ways more to go. Its the younger years, 13-16 were incredibly complicated. Its massively depressing work, but I have been claiming for years that I am going to write a book about it all, and you know, I think its about time I did it. So I'm writing a book about all of that, some details on what happened to a few of them, how its effected me. I'll probably cover some of my current situation and how I deal with it all. I have to change some details, names, leave out locations and dates. I'm not going to publish it as non fiction because I dont want people digging, I may be putting my story out there, but I still have a right to privacy as do the survivors.
I can deal with friends knowing the truth, but the idea of family members reading it bothers me. But on the other hand I went through a shit load of SHIT and I am still here. If that can benefit one rape victim, or one kid who has been abused, if it can get through to one pedo about how sick it is... then I have done something, then everything I went through is no longer simply something that I have to carry until I am dead. I hope that it can be read by some suburbanites who think that because they left the big bad city their children are safe - that this uglyness only happens to poor kids, that it doesn't happen to kids with good homes, nice clothes, and decent families.
anyways, its close to 4am. I'm gonna watch a movie, smoke my pipe, and pass out.
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About Me
- Jack Greenman
- Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of War! But no, really, I'm a student to be a motorcycle mechanic, I'm 25, I write a lot, I eat less than I should, I sleep less than I should, but I like to get out and live. I don't drink, but I smoke a pipe. My sense of style is at Least 40 years out of date, I am who I am, and That's who I am.
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ReplyDeleteHey Jack. I've been following your blog for awhile now and I'm such a huge supporter of you and your writings. There are so many questions i have, but I'm also very respectful of what you've been through. I guess selfishly, I want you to write the book so I can have answers. On the other hand, I hope that by you "purging yourself" of this, you will sleep and feel better. You seem like such an awesome guy, someone I'd loved to give a hug or shoulder. Above all, I hope blogging continues as a source of relaxation for you. It's been a wonderful ride for me. So, thank you
ReplyDeleteHey Mate,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I'll be happy to let you know the name of the book (once I (A)figure that out and (B) get it published). I don't think the actual purging will help much, I've been writing for years, I've just never let anyone read what ends up in the notebooks. This will be the first time I ever let outsiders in.
I'm not sure really, I think the first half is going to be what I am writing now - which is a blow by blow of the events. Then the next half will be more personal uncensored Greenman as I say, my thoughts, experiences, that sorta stuff.
The thing is I don't yet know how, or where to end it. I mean I'm still going, but its still with me. I'm still fighting through stuff. Anyways it doesn't matter, I'll figure it out. I have this vision of getting it published and only selling 30 copies. I might also run into some of the issues Gary hit, there are a lot of publishers who see gay sex and go "ewww thats not are market" even if the events are true... I donno.
Anyways, thank you very much for the support, and sorry for the rambling reply.