Goose was dumb struck, actually stared open mouthed at the picture for about 10 seconds which I thought was hilarious. Goose is incredibly cute, hot actually. He couldn't believe how different I looked, and a bit of flattery ensued as to how I used to look. I hate the mop of curly hair which is why I choose to slick it back whenever possible. He, and the others in chat thought it looked great.
He told me to Shave. I said the only way he was going to get me to shave was if we were cuddling and he told me to shave. He said that I would be clean shaven by Christmas if he had to come here and do it himself - which I would have preferred. But all this talk about how good I looked from guys I think are quite good looking - Chris too - was shaking my resolve pretty badly. My resolve had been "I will not shave or cut my hair before July"
Finally after some argument and a poll which Goose posted on the forum of beard and no beard - which was 5 to 1 within about 5 minutes... Well I came up with a deal. The deal was I would shave right then and there if Goose, who was without a shirt at the time, but wrapped in a blanket would loose the blanket and stand up and show me his stomach and chest for 10 seconds. Goose agreed with the stipulation that Chris had to do it too. Let me add that any guy who is slim or fit, their stomach - I don't know its something about the torso, it makes me weak at the knees. So for about 24 seconds Chris and Goose stood and showed off, Chris flexed, Goose just stood there.. and well... to me that was worth it totally. I know that makes me sound cheep, but you know, I don't care.
So Before,
And After,
Took about 10 minutes to trim the beard and sideburns down far enough with scissors so that the razor stood a chance, then another 10 working with the razor.
It occurred to me afterwards that while my family would have accepted my presence at John's wake and funeral with the scruffy beard (I wore a leather jacket to my father's funeral - granted he'd bought it for me) , it probably will go over better with all if I look as clean and civilized as physically possible.
I am still in shock. I am meeting Kyle for lunch in Boston today at 12, that is something I am deeply looking forward to. He is without a doubt the best friend I've ever had, has stood by me through so much shit. When dad died he was in Florida working as an intern with NASA - he was actually working on the inside of one of the shuttles and doing design work for something. Anyways the weekend his friends from Boston were coming down to visit him, he flew back to MA for dad's funeral, stayed for about 24 hours, by my side for most of it, then flew back - all on his own nickel. I love him dearly, he is without a doubt one of the finest most civilized human beings I have Ever known. I am proud beyond words to have him as a friend.
I also rarely see him. I mean, he's been in Boston for going on 6 years now, and I've probably made it out to visit him 6 times total, maybe more. He visits me here more than I there. I'm trying to change that. So lunch today will be grand.
I haven't slept. I'm going to skip my meds this morning and afternoon. Not the brightest idea as they are what dull the pain - I will bring them with me. But they cause drowsiness and impair my cognitive ability. I haven't slept in about 40 hours, sooo Taking 900mg of pills that induce sleep, when I haven't, just before I climb in my car and drive to Boston - seems like an error of judgement. I take 900mg 3 times a day. Its why I've been in bed so much again lately.
Anyways, I'm done for now. This week... the Olds is going to be going to and from Boston 6 times at least.
I wonder who of our side of the family will come in for John's funeral. Maggie & Debbie for sure as Maggie was his wife before she married Debbie (they have been together at least 30 years), but Maggie and John had a daughter - Jess, who will certainly come up from Wisconsin, and her husband and Josh - John's Grandson. But the other John (for who I am named) is in Georgia, Matt is in Colorado, and Marty is in California. I know Dad loved John a great deal, Dad would have gone to this (if he were still alive) even if John were being buried in South Korea - Dad would have Gone. But I can't speak for the rest of the family, I just... I don't know how much they felt for him.
Enough. enough.
The Rules have changed today
I have no place to stay
I'm thinking about the subway
My love has flown away
My tears have come and gone
Oh my lord I have to roam
I have no home
I have No Home
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