Pain

This picture shows perfectly why I have to abandon Arizona. This was taken by a friend just before I passed out. That's all of my 135 pounds, my pants which have a 34 waits barely grip at my hips anymore, they fit snug when I bought them in July. 

No pain killers, apparently I have "Drug Seeking Behavior" maybe that's because I'm often in pain that can only be managed with pain killers? 

It's hard not to grow bitter. 

I've been dealt a cruel hand and I've spent the better part of the last 14 years playing it. 

I'm tired. 

I'm in pain. 

I currently have a horrible cough. 

I just watched my dreams go down like a plane that lost it's wings. 

Tell me how to remain upbeat, because I'm running out of ideas. 

I'm running out of ideas.