Marcus Antonius:

And Caesar's spirit, raging for revenge,
With Ate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice
Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.

I've been writing again, not much worth publishing though, not much that could be published, that said I do still have the trip journal to work out and then that or at least a part of it can be published some place.

That one quote "Cry Havoc! and let slip the dogs of war" rings in my head. 

That's the key to it all I think. Not necessarily that quote in particular - although it certainly does throw out quite the image of life as it should be. That's the crazy thing, trying to figure out my spirit. 

I know that I have the potential to be great. I have known that forever. And I know that despite the damage I have suffered, I am still solid. I know that my good nature is still intact. I did give Cam the KZ1000 with no expectations in return. Gave Barrett the pipe that was dad's, which I am sure he'll keep forever. Gave a pipe to Zack as well, and he gets so excited at the possibility of smoking a bowl with me when ever I'm over at his apartment or at Cam's - or hell mine too. I have those kids the $600 so they wouldn't have to sell themselves to get home. I can give, I know that much.

But can I create? I have my bikes. 

I'll post more later, I think I'm going to take a bath.