So I have the money to put the KZ on the road, and I know what I have to do to do it. Do I have the strength? Not looking good. I had the shakes pretty bad earlier. Its getting better, but here I sit in the basement in my chairs, chairs I got from John Deedy about a year ago. Green club chairs I think they are. The basement is a mess.

The lawsuit is all done with. Paid the lawyers off, and now I am free and clear. I can pay mom back just as soon as the Triumph is sold. Ain't that a kick in the balls? I'm listening to some new song that came out that sounds like some old song - can't place my finger on it... I think we're coming full circle with rock. 

In the cabinet I have there is a picture of Kyle which used to hang in the stairs but got knocked down when Ducci was going up them a while back. There are also about 50 English bike mags, and about 15 empty Pepsi cans. 

I was in the bath tub for 4 hours yesterday because I couldn't see how to get out of the tub. Mom mentioned the thought that I might be better off in a "home" where I could receive proper treatment and care. I think I'd die in such a place. Either that or I'd go totally out of my mind. Something like that would rob me of my good humor and my spirit - much of which is all I have left.

Ian said something, let me find it... 

good lord sir. u do not think very highly of urself

 Which was in response to this very blog, or one of the posts. I should have asked what he meant by it, because I am rather curious. Perhaps its the self doubt which seems to prevail here if no where else but in the notebooks? 

I don't know. My back is on fire. I am going to read up on how to install the camshafts. 

Reading The Fortunes of War - Jack and Stephen are in Boston having been captured by the USS Constitution. It is like reading about old friends.

I am also becoming a fan of this stickam site that I discovered recently.

At any rate though, I am bound to return to my books and perhaps my bike, so I'll write more later. 

Ordered two tins of tobacco today. Bombay Extra, at last my old friend will return to me, either tomorrow or Saturday. This black ambrosia by MacBaren is good, but it's no substitute to my Bombay Extra.